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Is my story off to a good start?

This is the story I am writing. I am calling it "Walk on Water" 4 different teenagers, four different nationalities, 4 different stories, connected together and bound in one book. It's a Drama. #1: American. Blonde, blue-eyed. 15, very rich, suffering from severe depression. #2 From Africa. Dark hair/ eyes. short. 14, no father or mother. Forced to raise 3 brothers and sisters on her own. Extreme Poverty. #3 Mexican. Brown hair, charcoal eyes. 15,Forced to flee from her country with her family after her father's plan to overthrow the government is foiled.From Riches to Rags. #4 From Pakistan. 16, Poor, needy In a country of war, she is forced to fight for her allegiances... even if it means going against her family. Is this a good prolouge? Prologue Life is like an apple. A big, red, juicy one. It gleams, crimson and waxy. On the outside. Who knows what the inside may hide. Bruises? Rotten bits? Worms, perhaps? Just like life, there are only two options. You can take a chance and bite into it, savour its juicieness, relish its flavour. There may be rotton patches, but you're willing to take a chance in order to enjoy the good parts. Or you can walk away from it, shirk away from what might be bad, hide from the ugly unknown. But while you may be getting away from the nuiscances of life, youn will never know the sweet satisfaction of the simple pleasures it holds. Life is what you make it. Carpe Diem Seize the Day Then comes chapter 1 :) Also, any suggestions? Any good character names?

Public Comments

1. Wow! Your insight into the multi-cultural issues upon selected individuals is absolutely astounding. And moving. It's important that the world knows of these challenges that hang among all humans, no matter what race, gender, age, religion, etc. Bringing about a story like this ensures all that read it, that no matter where you stand you are not alone. Please finish this story, I think you are off to an incredible begining.
2. wow. really good! I would name the american Kylie, the African Layla, the pakistanian Mina, and the Mexican Allejandra (pronounced allyhondra) hope it helps! Good luck.
3. the Prologue is good but i think how the African and the Mexican are poor are kind of stereo types...
4. That really sounds like a good story. I like the prologue, it is a great metaphor. I kinda want to read your book! It sounds fascinating. ^.^
5. You've posted this several times. It sounds to me like American Girl Dolls books. Just go with it and see what happens. Pax - C
6. this sounds very interesting. i dont know where you're going with the plot but if you indeed take all 4 characters and somehow tie them together, it would make for a great read. also, the story must complete the prologue, meaning by the time one finishes reading the story, the prologue makes perfect sense. as far as character names go, i normally like to use the first random name i hear. turn on the television and listen for a name. either that, or use the name of someone you know that somewhat fits the description and personality of the character. that would give you a better understanding of the character as you write about him/her. suggestions: eric=american aliuane=african (ah-lee-u-on-ee) rodolfo(rudy)=mexican punjabi-pakistan
7. It's a good idea, though I'd have to say it's awfully ambitious. Make sure you know enough about these cultures to write about these characters in depth. Also there doesn't seem to be a cohesive theme-in order for these stories to work as one book-unless you're making 4 short stories in one volume, in which case, it's less important-the stories have to speak to one another, or speak to a common theme. Something from the American's life should be brought up in the Africans, or they should both be struggling with a similar problem. Otherwise it's just four separate stories.