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Is my story off to a good start?

This is the story I am writing. I am calling it "Walk on Water" 4 different teenagers, four different nationalities, 4 different stories, connected together and bound in one book. It's a Drama. #1: American. Blonde, blue-eyed. 15, very rich, suffering from severe depression. #2 From Africa. Dark hair/ eyes. short. 14, no father or mother. Forced to raise 3 brothers and sisters on her own. Extreme Poverty. #3 Mexican. Brown hair, charcoal eyes. 15,Forced to flee from her country with her family after her father's plan to overthrow the government is foiled.From Riches to Rags. #4 From Pakistan. 16, Poor, needy In a country of war, she is forced to fight for her allegiances... even if it means going against her family. Is this a good prolouge? Prologue Life is like an apple. A big, red, juicy one. It gleams, crimson and waxy. On the outside. Who knows what the inside may hide. Bruises? Rotten bits? Worms, perhaps? Just like life, there are only two options. You can take a chance and bite into it, savour its juicieness, relish its flavour. There may be rotton patches, but you're willing to take a chance in order to enjoy the good parts. Or you can walk away from it, shirk away from what might be bad, hide from the ugly unknown. But while you may be getting away from the nuiscances of life, youn will never know the sweet satisfaction of the simple pleasures it holds. Life is what you make it. Carpe Diem Seize the Day Then comes chapter 1 :) Also, any suggestions? Any good character names? Is it even worth continuing?

Public Comments

Great start, only I think the blonde American teenage depression thing is way too cliche.
Let the character names blend with their nature.
Good story idea, Hun!
I think you're off to a pretty good start, but that's just me. Too many stories can impress me too easily. If you feel like continuing it, you should. No suggestions from me, 'cause I'm bad at those. :)
Is it worth having it made into a book or letting your friends read it? It might be worth it if you an answer that question. Its sounds interesting but your also going to need more discreption on your people what's the height of them. Do any of them work? Do they have any friends? Your going to have to figure out a way for them to be bound in one book as well. Oh and do they ever meet are they friends? If you need names you should look up baby names its the quickest way and maybe you should look up there meaning so you can figure if you want a strong name for them or a weak one.
i think you have too many cliches. it dosent sound fresh maybe if you focused on one character, a new one something unexpected.
To be honest from your examples, I don't think you know enough about Mexico or Pakistan to write convincingly about those countries. Maybe you should use fictional countries instead or just stick to American experiences.
I think you could definitely make this into something intriguing. The title "Walk On Water" you may want to change, though. It's the title of an internationally known award winning movie from Israel. http://www.movienet.com/walkonwater.html It's an EXCELLENT film, and if you'd like to see an example of superb storytelling you should try and get a hold of it to watch it. You won't be disappointed. It may help stimulate ideas for your own story. Best wishes with your writing! May you bring it to full fruition!
sounds good. only theres some cliche in the characters